(a) the growth of fable: the growth of apple trees will never do a
a tree, and finally the results.
the first year, which end up with 10 apples, nine were taken away, they receive one. This tree was angry, then cut off, in turn, refused to grow. The next year, which end up with five apples, four were taken away, they receive one. \
However, it can do: continue to grow. For example, the second year, which end up with 100 fruit were taken away 90, that she was 10.
is possible, it is taken away 99, that she was one. But it does not matter, it can continue to grow in the third year-end 1000 fruit ... ...
fact, how much fruit is not the most important. The most important thing is the tree to grow! So apple trees grow into towering trees, those who have hindered its growth will be weak to negligible power. Really, do not worry so much about fruit, growth is the most important.
psychological Comments
you are not a meridian of the workers have been cutting their family?
just started work, you talented, vigorous, believing that \But the reality soon hit you a few Sap, perhaps, you make a big contribution for the unit that no one seriously; perhaps, but not only benefit by oral attention; perhaps ... ... In short, you feel like the apple tree , bear the fruit of their own to enjoy only a very small part, and falls far short of your expectations.
So you angry, you are upset, you grumble ... ... In the end, you decide not to work so hard, to do to match their own income. Over the past few years, you a self-examination and found that you now have not just work up the passion and talent.
\But the essence is that you have stopped growing.
this story everywhere around us.
reason for such mistakes, because we forget that life is a process in which a whole, we feel that they have grown too, and now is the time of the fruit. We too care about temporary gains and losses, forget the growth is the most important.
Fortunately, this is not a Jin Yong novel of cutting their meridians. We are ready to give up doing so, the road continues to grow.
Remember: If you are a working family, and met with management knowledge management or error management brutal boss or corporate culture, then, to remind ourselves about, do not because of anger and full of resentment and cutting off the meridians. No matter what, have to make an ever growing apple trees, because you always grow important than how much money each month.
(b) the motivation of fable: the children for whom playing
kids frolic in front of an old, calls groaning. Over the past few days, the elderly unbearable.
So he came out to 25 cents for each child, said to them: \happy day is still coming, as always, playfulness. Old people come out and give each child 15 cents. He explained that he had no income, only a smaller number. 15 cents also can be, boy is still excited to go.
the third day, the elderly only 5 cents for each child.
children with rage, \
psychological Comments:
Whom you \.
were two types of motivation: internal motivation and external motivation. According to the internal motivation to action, we are the masters of their own. If we are driven by external motivation, we will be influenced by external factors, to become its slaves.
in this fable, the old people's calculations Hen Jian Dan, he will be the children's internal motivation \factors, so it manipulated the children's behavior. Fables of the elderly, like not like your boss, boss? And cents, like not like your wages, bonuses and other kinds of external rewards?
if the external evaluation as a reference frame, our emotions fluctuate easily. Because of external factors beyond our control, it is easy to deviate from our internal expectations, so we are not satisfied, let us grumble. Dissatisfaction and complaints and other negative emotions make us suffer, in order to reduce the pain, we had to reduce the internal expectations, the most common method is to reduce the work effort.
A person will form an external evaluation system, the main reason is that parents like to control him. Parents too prefer to use verbal rewards and punishments, material rewards and punishments such as control children, not to ignore the child's own motivation. Over time, the children have forgotten their original motives, what are the external evaluation of care. School, he forgot the original motivation to learn the joy of curiosity and learning; work, he has forgotten the original motivation of the work of the joy of growth, with the comments and income fluctuations into his work the largest source of pleasure and pain.
Remember: the external evaluation system is often a family history, but you can break it, from now on cultivating their own internal evaluation system, to study and work into a \
(c) Planning of fable: the piece of paper folded 51 times
Imagine your hands with a large enough white. Now, your task is to fold it 51 times. So, how high it is?
a refrigerator? Floor? Or a skyscraper? No,'s minds, and the thickness over the distance between Earth and the Sun.
psychological Comments
to now, I get asked a dozen of this fable, and only two people said that this may be less than the height of an imaginary, while others think the maximum height of a skyscraper is building that high.
folded height of 51 such terror, but if only the 51 white stacked together?
the contrast was shocking to many people. Because there is no direction, lack of planning in life, like the 51 White simply stacked together. Take this today, tomorrow and make it that every time there is no link between efforts. Thus, even if each work is done very well, they have your whole life is nothing but a simple superposition.
, of course, life is more complicated than this fable. Some people, life finds a simple direction and firmly to do so, their lives end up someone else unattainable level. For example, the direction of my life a friend in English, he spent more than a decade efforts, only the word of the memory capacity to reach many hundreds of thousands, at this point to reach the ordinary person can not high for.
also some people, their lives and the direction is clear, for example, open the company boss, so they need a lot of skills, expertise, management skills, communication skills, decision-making skills and so on. They may try to do some of this in the beginning, they try to do some, um, not as a special master's, but in the end, to open the company boss in this direction will be scattered before they appear together the efforts of integration, which is a kind of complex life, folding, rather than a simple superposition.
Remember: the power of sight more useful than the invisible forces.
now popular place to find the answer from the unseen, such as the potential development, such as school success, that our lives depend on a number of miracles to be saved. However, in my view, Dongguan Heng Yuan Counseling Center counselor Mao Zhengjiang more correctly, \: cat escape the shadow of the tricks
\, wherever there is sunlight, they will see that they are crazy in their own shadow.
However, Tom and Toby finally have found their own solutions. Tom is always with your eyes closed. Toby's approach is to always stay in the shadows of other things. Comments
psychological explanation of this parable, a small mental problem is how to become more psychological problems.
can say that all mental problems are related to the distortion of the facts. What facts? We mainly those suffering negative events.
because of painful experiences, we do not want to face the negative events. However, in the event before, this is doomed to negative events with our lives, we can do, at most,uggs sale, but is repressed to the unconscious to them, this is the so-called forgotten.
However, they remain in the subconscious will continue to play a role. And even if we have forgotten the fact that another severe, the pain associated with these facts will still attack us so that we somehow sad, and can not suppress. This pain Let us further effort to escape.
development to the end, the usual solution is to these two: either, as we like Tom kitten, completely distorting their own experience of life in all the important facts are ignored negative; or, we, like kitten care than the same, simply join their suffering to all of their things were very bad, since everything is so bad, so they are most sad that the original event is not so painful.
Baiyun Mental hospital consultant, said Li Ling, 99% of drug users had a painful experience. The reason they drugs, is to make their escape the pain. It is like hide in the shadows, the painful truth is a devil, the devil in order to avoid this, simply to sell more of the devil himself.
many alcoholic adults, they had an alcoholic and abusive dad, and put the father of a lot of torture. To forget the pain, they learn the same way. In addition to these visible
the wrong way, we humans also invented numerous types of all kinds of ways to escape suffering, Freud referred to these methods of psychological defense mechanisms. Too painful, these defense mechanisms are necessary, but worse, if the psychological defense mechanisms to distort the fact too hard, it will bring more psychological problems, such as obsessive-compulsive disorder, social anxiety disorder,Vibram FiveFingers Shoes, multiple personality, or even schizophrenia.
really only one way to reach a healthy face the pain. Facing the pain would get from the pain of many surprises, they will eventually become the life of the party of wealth. Planning to make good use of existing capacity than tap the potential of the so-called more important. \, to resolve it, beyond it, the last and it reached a settlement. If your temporary shortage of power, you can find help, finding friends or family help, or find professional help to people you trust with you to confront them accompanied the pain things.
Rogers, American psychologist, who is the most lonely person, but when he resolved to face this fact and after he became a true master of human relations; American psychologist Frank (see the newspaper on January 7 day \; Japanese psychologist Morita Shoma was a severe neurological disorder, but the fact that through his challenges and finally invented the Morita therapy ... ... they are the most painful fact of life eventually became their most important asset. you , as can be.
(5) action fable crabs,cheap uggs boots, owls and bats
crabs, owls and bats to go to cram school abuse. a few years later, they all graduate and received his Ph.D. . However, the crab is still rampant, night owls are still sleeping in the daytime activities, bat still hung upside down.
psychological Comments
This is even famous master of a fable, its moral is simple: action more important than knowledge.
< br> used in mental health, this fable is also thought-provoking.
called profound knowledge of psychology. However, the more even the best of psychological knowledge does not automatically help a person become healthier. In fact, I know Some people who had studied psychology for many years, one purpose of their psychology is to rule themselves, but after so many years of school, their problems remain.
reasons for this situation, a very important reason is They do not spread the knowledge so far the only knowledge, knowledge is not into their own life experience.
I like the psychology of a friend who was more than psychology that is not sensitive, not suitable for school psychology Science. but proved such speculation is not correct. He is not enough sensitive, but there is a very big Ta De advantages: know a good Zhi Shi, immediately Zai Zi Ji's life in Qu implementation. Zheyang 1 Lai, the knowledge of those distant becomes a real life experience, he does not \genius quality.
this fable can come out of another meaning: Do not expect too mysterious magic of psychotherapy. the most important power is always in your own body, the mysteries of knowledge, the potential development of mysterious, dazzling success science, for example, are much less your body has the power of important. we used to go outside to find the answers to other people where to find the power, the results have forgotten the power in themselves.
Remember: other people's knowledge does not automatically save you.
if the punch line of some Lianzhu impressed you, if some text or a new creed inspired you. Well, these other people's words and experience are just the beginning, more importantly, you really do you think a good knowledge apply to your own life to go.
Jewish philosopher Martin? Buber's words, I always thought the most important:
you have to start their own. If you do not love to go in-depth positive survival, if you do not go its own way reveals the meaning of life for themselves, then for you, life will remain meaningless.
(6) to give up the fable: bees and flowers, roses
wither, and the bees are still hard suck, because it previously had from this little sweet sucking spend. But now in this little flower, bees suck the venom.
bees know that, because of the bitter venom, and before the taste is worlds apart. So angry bees, but it breath of his head came up to complain about the whole world, why the taste changed?!
one day, do not know why, bee vibrating wings, fly a bit high. At this time, it found, withered roses around everywhere is flowers.
psychological Comments
This is the fable about love, is a young language teacher of the true sentiment.
have period of time, she wanted to take a very painful, I always wanted to talk about and I hope my knowledge of psychology to give her some help. We have some time, but soon two months later, two of the time can not happen to Minato together.
the last time about her, she said: \No, I would like to see. \which instant, lightning through her mind a camel appeared saying: \\Let me help her out, but in fact the long wings on her own, and she want to fly can fly.
give up is not easy to give up love in particular, painful. because love is the young of our times copy of parent-child relationship. young children, no matter from which side, can not do without my parents. If the parents completely deny him,ugg online, and that means death for him, this is the ultimate harm and fear. We more or less have been father and mother experienced no pain and fear, so when love a copy of the parent-child relationship we once again experience the pain and fear, we become very emotional very easily bad.
However, compared to love and parent-child relationship, there is a huge difference: a child, we can not, all parents have the final say; But now, we grow up, we have the power to choose their own own destiny. We can say that my childhood, we are a small bee without wings,uggs sale, but now, we have a pair of powerful wings.
However, when deeply engrossed in love, we will return to childhood, we can forget that they have a pair of flying wings. and so realize that we ourselves, the love is on the parent-child relationship will no longer be the automatic replication, we love to be free, there is a giving up of power.
Remember : Love is two things, two completely equal, independent personality of people do. You can work, but not that hard, surely you will have results, because another person, you are not around. < br> So, no matter how much you care about a love that if another person determined to leave you, please respect his choice.
And also remember, you are no longer childhood, can only let the pain of torture. you have adult, you have a pair of strong wings, you can fly out of a relationship has become poison.
(7) intimate allegory: a unique rose
Little Prince has a small planet, planet all of a sudden bloom of a rose blooming. before on this planet only a few nameless flowers, the little prince had never seen such beautiful flowers, he fell in love with the rose, carefully nurtured her.
that a days, he thought, this is a unique flower on earth, only he only planet, other places do not exist.
, however, so he came to Earth and found that there is only one garden 5000 this same flower. this time, he knows that he only have a common flower.
the beginning, this discovery, let the little prince was very sad. But in the end, the little prince to understand, although the world There are many roses, but his planet tis is still unique, because that rose, he had watered, had spent her hood cover, with a screen protection over, in addition to her body of caterpillars, but also listen to her complain a little, and boasted over to listen to her silence ... ... In short, he tame her, and she tamed him, and she is his unique rose.
\time, That makes your rose so important. \only understand this.
face 5000 roses, the little prince said: \\. as if each owned more than a rose, the value of their own lives on the Duoleyifen. Internet age, with several 10 lover is no longer a very rare thing. but I know who these emotions No one is empty. they do not enjoy the relationship, they just enjoy the conquest.
\\But once owned, they will quickly lose interest in this intimate relationship. Stronger desire to conquer, the faster the loss. \individuals are naturally go into, naturally tamed, the relationship will become a life nourishment, so that a person's life becomes more filling and better.
However, no matter how close. The Little Prince is still the little prince, Rose is still a rose, they are still two individuals. If the roses let the little prince travel,ugg outlet store, or the little prince will travel non-roses with me, they have to stick together, relations will no longer enjoy, but will become a burden.
Remember: a both intimate and mutually independent relationship, better than 1000 relations in general. This relationship will bring us from hopeless rescue of loneliness is our life The most important kind of salvation.
If you have not experienced, you can not know the relationship of the United States.
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